


To Have and to Hold

by HeartsAndBones



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Female Reader, Force maniuplation, I'm Sorry, Inspired by the History Channel, Light Angst, Mind Games, Not really that romantic, Power Struggle, Probably not an accurate interpretation of history though, Reader-Insert, Semi-arranged Marriage, Sneakiness, The First Order is up to some shady business, What Was I Thinking, What is Kylo thinking, ok maybe a little
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-09-08 17:16:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8853796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartsAndBones/pseuds/HeartsAndBones
Summary: You're a high-status senator and daughter of two national leaders. Basically, the closest thing to royalty there is on Teiro, your home planet. Tensions between your people and the First Order have reached crisis levels and seem to be getting worse by the minute. That is, until the First Order suggests a radical solution that no one could have predicted...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to formally apologize for this trash that leaped out of my brain at 2am. I have absolutely no idea what struck me to write this, but here it is. It's nothing like what I usually write and I've been debating posting this for quite some time. So, read if you feel so inclined. If it's absolutely no good, I will take it down.

Tensions between my home world of Teiro and the First Order were at a historic low. I could hardly believe it, that is, I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself. As a member of the Teirian senate, it was all I could do to keep my jaw from hitting the floor when the First Order generals and our leaders reached a compromise on the issue of mining energy from our planet. But I knew deep down: something this good wouldn’t last. 

It stared with a whisper, grumblings in the boardroom, the judges’ chambers. Disagreements over trivial details like where on a too-small plot of land to begin mining and what color the troopers’ uniforms should be. Calling the senate together over something that could have been decided in a private meeting. Finally, one of the First Order generals lost his temper and shouted something along the lines of _“there’s nothing tying us together in peace, give us a reason not to destroy you.”_ That got the Teirians talking. I was scared, and so was just about everyone else. Everyone except my parents. 

Teiro no longer operates under a monarchy. We’re more of a quasi-communistic society, but my family is the closest thing Teiro has to royalty. My family is the head of the government, and even though we take into account the voices of the people to avoid rioting and backslash, we’re still a very conservative society. I knew one afternoon something big was about to happen since Mother and Father had been negotiating with the First Order leaders since breakfast and they were just now leaving. Each First Order official looked me up and down before filing out of the conference room and shutting the door. Mother motioned me in. 

“What’s going on? I know something’s up,” I said before they could even get a word in. 

“Please, have a seat. Nothing bad is going to happen. I promise,” Mother responded quickly. 

“Sweetheart, you’ve seen firsthand how the relations with the First Order are getting along. It’s not good,” Father’s deep voice echoed in the hall, “They want something concrete to solidify our agreement of peace. For the betterment of both societies.” 

“But what does that have to do with us?” I squeaked. I had a bad feeling about this. Would they exile us, or throw us out of power, or worse?

“Well, I- not exactly-“ Father couldn’t seem to speak, so Mother interrupted softly:

“They suggested an arranged marriage.”

“WHAT?” I yelped, then clapped my hand over my mouth. 

“Now, darling, listen to me!" Mother tried to calm me down. "We told them up front that we do not condone rituals like that anymore, even though we are a conservative people. They suggested a marriage between you and a prominent leader: Kylo Ren. He’s not exactly military, more- what’s it called- Special Forces. He has a high rank in the First Order and works directly under Snoke. They think a union between you two will symbolize the next generation of leaders, Teirian and First Order, working together for their people.”

“We told them we would not give our only child away without asking you first. If you say no, it won't happen. End of discussion,” Father added. I sat back in my chair, my head beginning to swirl. Out of all things that could happen to me as a woman in a position of power, the thought of arranged marriage never crossed my mind. 

“I thought we were past this! Aren’t we advanced enough as a society that a marrying off a daughter isn’t actually a solution to a problem?” I was almost shouting. 

“I know, darling, I think we all thought that too. Remember, you have a right to say no,” Father said gently. 

“This situation is at a crisis point,” Mother blurted, her facade of composure beginning to slip. “If we weren’t in such a bad place, believe me, I would have told those generals they can go straight to hell and if they so much as look at you wrong, they’d be dead. But we can’t afford to think like that. Not for our sake, and certainly not for the people’s sake.”

I felt the wind leave my lungs. Teiro was in bad shape if my parents were actually, seriously considering marrying me off to the First Order. 

“But how can we trust that even if I do marry Kylo-whoever they’ll hold up their end of the bargain?” I asked. If I was going to do this, I wanted to make sure it would really keep Teiro at peace. 

“We have a treaty drafted and I’m not going to lie, it looks good. It looks like something both parties could uphold without resorting to violence,” Father bowed his head as he spoke, Mother placed her hand on mine. 

“You don’t have to do this, but think of the good of the people. If someone of power and value from Teiro is personally, intimately tied to the First Order, we have more pull. You will have significant authority in any dealing between the two.” Mother did have a point. If I were married into the First Order, they would have to listen to me. I thought of the terror that would come to the people of Teiro if I said no. Fear doesn’t usually have much effect on me, but this was about more than just me. I handled being appointed to the senate at 18, completing advanced studies and surviving an assassination attempt at 19, and negotiating on behalf of my planet at 20. Having reached 21 relatively unscathed, I thought could hold my own in just about any situation. With a deep breath, drawing on a familiar, calming presence, I sat up straight. 

“I’d like to meet him first. Then I’ll make a decision.” 

Mother looked as if she were about to cry; I wasn't sure whether they were happy tears or a symbol of defeat. Father just nodded and pulled me close for a hug. What had I just agreed to?


	2. Chapter 2

Someone was shouting in the tearoom; a harsh, almost shrill accent was snapping away.

“My gods, I can’t believe Supreme Leader sent me to babysit you. You’re meeting your future wife, for kriff’s sake! Have you no self-control at all?” 

My eyes went wide at the swear. What the hell kind of person was waiting on the other side of the door? A petulant man-child? An old, irritable soldier? A violent fiend? I pressed my ear close to the wall, careful not to knock the wood with my earring. 

“He merely suggested you accompany me, General. I would rather you stayed on the Finalizer as well,” a mechanical, deep voice rumbled. My stomach sank as images of a horribly disfigured half-machine, half-man raced through my head. I thought I was going to be sick. 

“And take that ridiculous mask off,” the accented voice bitterly said to the mechanical one, “you’ll scare her half to death. Well, more than you would without it-“ the voice stopped suddenly. I heard the unmistakable sound of choking and gasping, then heavy breathing. My husband to be might kill me before the day was over. I could feel every bit of color drain from my face as Mother gently pulled me away from the wall and began straightening my dress. Black velvet, she’d insisted, and for once I wholeheartedly agreed. As we prepared to enter the tearoom, I could feel the air still. The calming, familiar presence I drew on in times of distress seemed present, but in a slightly different form. I couldn’t put my finger on what had changed, but before I had time to ponder it, the doors whooshed open and my parents escorted me into the tearoom. A slender man with bright red hair walked forward to greet my father, my mother, then me. 

“Pleased to meet you. I am General Armitage Hux. I’m here to-“ he stopped short, and hesitated a bit, “to make sure everything goes properly.” He turned around and nodded toward a hulking figure dressed in all black. Gods almighty, he was giant. One of the tallest men I’d ever seen, and from what I could tell under all that fabric, probably very strong. He was unwrapping a cloak from around his head, not acknowledging our presence at all. His hands went to the bottom of his neck and there was a sound that reminded me of air decompressing, and he lifted the helmet off his head. I felt like I was going to pass out when he finally turned to look at me. 

That was NOT what I expected. 

He wasn’t disfigured at all, though a scar bisected his pale face. Black hair hung in waves around his shoulders. His dark eyes looked into mine without a trace of malice. Even with his rather large ears peeking out from under his hair and not-quite-proportional nose, he was beautiful. 

“I’m Kylo Ren. Pleased to meet you.” Gently, he took my hand and when we touched, the calming presence sparked to life, like shaking a bottle of fizzy water. My eyes widened, and I realized I was staring at our hands and hadn’t said a word. I looked into his eyes again and composed myself, trying to ignore the rushing feeling.

“Pleased to meet you too.” He released my hand and the world went back to normal. The world wasn’t swirling wildly or moving too fast and too slow at once. I shuddered as he greeted my parents. What was happening?  
A pair of maids served us tea; Kylo sat next to me after warily looking at my parents for unspoken permission. When his leg brushed against mine, I jumped a bit. That new sensation felt almost like a shock. I thought to myself, _he must think I’m crazy or something_ , and a nervous chill ran down my spine. He leaned in close toward my ear, and whispered, 

“Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.” I looked at him, and he gave me the slightest smile before turning back to the rest of the people in the room.  
The conversation was entirely dull and uninspiring. It was mostly my parents trying to figure out if Kylo was going to murder me in my sleep. I didn’t get that feeling from him, but I wanted to figure out exactly whom I was marrying, and that wasn’t going to happen with everyone watching me. 

“Mother, Father, may I speak to Kylo in private?” I asked. Hesitantly, they nodded. 

“I suppose, but we’ll be right outside,” Father warned. Hux gave Kylo a harsh glare as he followed my parents out of the tearoom.  
I turned to look at Kylo, who was staring at me. 

“Well?” I asked. 

“Well what? You asked to speak with me in private.” 

“I-I just want to get to know you before we get- we get-“ I was cut off by his hand reaching up to stroke my cheek. Typically I would have smacked him away for being so patronizing, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, what was very unlike me. 

“So much fear, so much confusion. I can feel it. Why?” 

“Why? “ I stuttered, almost laughing. “Why? Because I’m about to be married off-“ _like a prize_ , I thought, but didn’t say, “like a pawn in a political game. It’s nothing against you, I’m sure you’re…” 

Why couldn’t I speak? I was usually so eloquent! 

“I just don’t know you,” I explained calmly, “All of this is so new to me. I don’t know what’s going on or what will happen in the future. I think you can understand why I’m afraid.”  
His giant hand cupped my cheek, then he rubbed my back gently. Instantly, I felt at ease. How was he doing this? This wasn’t normal.  
A smile crept across his face, as if he could hear my thoughts. 

“Oh, my dear,” his deep voice thrummed, it sounded so pleasant up close, “trust me, you’re making the right decision. For your people and for yourself.”  
It was like my mind wasn’t mine anymore, all I could think about was his voice, his eyes, his aura. I wanted to speak but words wouldn’t come out. He chuckled. 

“You want to marry me, don’t you?” he asked. An overwhelming sense of _YES_ came out of nowhere and coursed through my being. Suddenly, I fiercely wanted to marry him. I really, really did. 

“I want to marry you,” I said, gazing into the dark of his eyes. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t make myself care or snap out of it. Part of me wanted to run and put a stop to this whole thing. Yet, my curious side wanted to figure out what this was and why it was happening. I knew nothing about this man; still, here I was, agreeing to marry him. What happened to my pragmatic, intellectual self? I leapt up off the couch and my right mind returned immediately. 

“What is it that you do for the First Order?” I asked heatedly. He shot up from his relaxed position on the couch. 

“I am the leader of the Knights of Ren. We work directly under Supreme Leader Snoke. “ Anger tinged his voice. 

“Knights of Ren… don’t they use that force-sense or something?” I asked. I didn’t know much about supernatural stuff like that, only what I heard in legends and stories. 

“ _The Force_. It’s _the_ Force, and yes, I have it. You do too.” A feeling of horror lurched through me. Was that how he was able to influence me earlier?

“What? I don’t have anything like that! You’re just an expert at psychological manipulation and mental warfare-“ I jumped out of his way before he could touch me and control my mind. 

“Don’t do that! I know what you’re about to do,” I seethed as I slowly backed away from him. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window: halfway hunched over as if I was ready to attack, the belt on my dress twisted beyond the point of delicately fixing, eyes gleaming with defense.  
_Calm down!_ I thought to myself. I looked up at Kylo, who was standing coolly with his arms crossed about two strides in front of me. Slowly, I stood up straight and tucked my hair behind my ear. A red flush of embarrassment was creeping across my face. I began to try to fix my belt in an effort to avoid embarrassing myself any further. 

“I won’t hurt you,” he said gently. “That’s not what I want to do.” I nodded, still trying to un-twist my belt. 

“Allow me,” he murmured. Gently, he unhooked the clasp, straightened the fabric, and re-fastened the belt. He rested his hands on my waist. I marveled at how his hands almost fit around me entirely. 

“Black is very becoming on you, you know.” His deep voice rumbled in my ear.  
I was fully aware and could not blame his mind-tricks when I reached up and wrapped my arms around him, standing on my toes in order to reach him. Why was I hugging him? Wasn’t I mad at him a second ago?

“Marry me. You’ll make a beautiful bride,” he whispered. 

I thought for a moment. No mind games, no tricks, just me. 

“Yes. I’ll marry you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you to everyone for the kind comments and for reading this story! I think I will continue to write this, but I'm not sure if I will include explicit smut. I don't think it's my strong suit as a writer. But don't worry, flirtation and fluff/angst will happen! Anyways, thank you again and enjoy the chapter!

“Mother, I promise, I want to do this. I wouldn’t go through with it if I felt unsafe or had a bad feeling about him. Trust me, I’ll be fine,” I said, trying to console my mother as she neared hysterics. She’d just helped me get ready for the wedding, why hadn’t she said something sooner? 

“I know, I trust you, I just- this is your last chance to say _no!_ Do you understand that?” 

“I understand. And I want to do this. For you, and for Father, and for Teiro, and for me.” Mother began to cry and dabbed at her eyes to keep her makeup from running. I gave her a hug as soon as she quit crying. 

Father gave me a knowing look before he walked me down the aisle. Every First Order official was there, along with nearly every member of the Teirian senate. The Teirians took their hats off and bowed their heads as I entered, which was usually only done at funerals. I acknowledged their solidarity with a nod and turned my head to look at Kylo. He was even more stunning in his black dress robes and red sash, to match my black and silver wedding dress. Father shook his hand, but before he sat down, he grabbed me and hugged me with all the strength he had. Kylo took me by the hand and lead me to the altar. 

The ceremony took place in one of the capital’s oldest cathedrals, which made for beautiful singing from the choir and made the officiant’s voice echo through the room. Everything was kind of a blur because I could sense the emotion from nearly everyone in that room. Thoughts of _“she’s so brave,” “she’s so stupid,” “he will kill her”_ and _“how can this save us?”_ rang in my head. The noise only stopped when Kylo squeezed my hands and looked deep in my eyes. Then there was only peace and the familiar presence that I’d known all my life. We recited traditional Teirian vows, since the First Order had no such matrimonial traditions. 

“I take you as my wife to have and to hold, in peace and in strife, in joy and in sorrow, in wealth and in poverty, from now until the end of my days.” Kylo finished his vows and a burning filled my heart. I realized there was no turning back. And, it was my turn to recite my vows. 

“I take you as my husband to have and to hold, in peace and in strife, in joy and in sorrow, in wealth and in poverty, from now until the end of my days.”

“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the officiant declared. While the audience clapped, I noticed he omitted the line of “you may kiss the bride.” Kylo took my hand and lead me out of the cathedral, smiling as he strode up the aisle. I couldn’t help but smile a little too, even if it was out of nervousness. Once we were securely in the anteroom, Kylo’s eyes lit up, and he grabbed me by the waist, picked me up, and spun me around like a child. I shrieked in surprise. 

“My wife,” he growled, but I wasn’t afraid. 

“My husband,” I played along. 

“Strange the officiant left out part of the ceremony,” he mused. 

“What? Oh, that. Maybe he just didn’t want-“ suddenly, he swept me onto his lap on the couch.

“I don’t care about what they want. I get what I want, I always get what I want,” he murmured, pressing his lips to mine. I expected a harsh, rough kiss, but the gentleness shocked me more than any strike could have. I melted into the kiss, even though it had been a while since I’d done this before. He gave a low growl and I clung to him for dear life. My head was spinning, all I could hear was white noise, it was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. I didn’t want this feeling to end. After a minute, I started feeling really lightheaded so I stopped to breathe. Kylo chuckled and muttered in my ear, 

“Absolutely insatiable. Who would have known such a quiet girl had so much- desire?” 

“Forgive me, but I haven’t had many opportunities to do that in my life,” I huffed. He tried to settle me further up on his lap, but the layers of tulle on my dress prevented that. He yanked at the fabric. 

“Too much of this. It’s in the way,” he said as he lunged in to play-bite my neck. 

“Look who’s the insatiable one now,” I snarked. That cued him to kiss me again. I began to feel uneasy so I pulled away from him after a second. 

“Ok, ok, that’s enough. People are going to wonder where we are if we don’t make out way to the reception,” I said as I tried to push him off. I admit, I was still rather feisty and keyed-up, so I tried to calm and center myself. Now was _not_ the time to get carried away by a romantic façade. After all, I still barely knew Kylo Ren, and I had no reason to trust him at this point. I looked at him as he raked his fingers through his hair: his face was slightly flushed and he had a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Don’t be so brutish, this is a classy event,” I giggled innocently. He snorted at me in response. As we stood, he stopped in front of a mirror to straighten his robes. I fixed my hair a bit, and he bent down to wrap his arms around my waist. 

“We don’t look half bad together,” I teased.

“That’s the idea, dear wife,” he said, kissing the top of my head.

As nice as he seemed, I still couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. I thought back to our first meeting in the tearoom and remembered how he tried to use some kind of mind trick to make me want to marry him, and how his charm didn’t feel genuine to me. Now, he was using romance and- what could I even call that?- seduction in order to get in my head. Something was warning me to be careful around Kylo. I resolved to not let my guard down until he proved his trustworthiness. If my experience in politics and government taught me anything, it was that everyone has an ulterior motive, no matter how charming or innocent they appear on the outside. With a deep breath and renewed focus, I gently pulled Kylo's face close to mine so I could give him a quick kiss on the cheek, took his arm, and let him lead me to the reception.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a super-long chapter to jazz up your day (or evening, whenever you're reading this). Again, thanks for the kudos, comments, and support! Enjoy :)

The reception gave me a great deal of trouble. I kept getting obscene images of my new husband and me in my head. I had no idea why- intimacy was the last thing I wanted to worry about at a time like this! Every time I looked at Kylo, I blushed. I couldn’t explain how or why, but I knew he had something to do with it. 

My fellow senators wished me well; some even gave me names of emergency “contacts” should a situation arise. I thanked them kindly and assured them I would be fine. Although, I don’t think a single one believed me. 

The cool winter air began to flutter through the cathedral banquet hall. I could have sworn the windows were shut when the reception began, but they were cracked open now. I shivered silently and I pretended to eat some of the elaborate dish prepared for the wedding. It was wholly unappealing; I just wasn’t in the mood. 

_Deep breath, think about something other than the cold,_ I thought. 

No use. 

I was outright shaking now. I looked toward Kylo, who was bundled up in his robes, and became painfully aware of my bare shoulders as goose bumps rose up on my skin. My husband looked back at me with a knowing glance. Instantly, he removed his outer robe and placed it around me, and for good measure, he scooted me closer so I was practically sitting on his lap. 

“Clever, clever. I see what you’re up to,” I muttered. 

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” he said, giving my ear a quick nip. The smug look on his face made me want to smack him.

“You used your Force powers to open those windows so I would get cold, and then you gave me your coat so everyone will think you’ll take care of me.” 

“I will take care of you-“

“That’s not the point. I know you won’t hurt me, but you’re manipulative. Don’t use those powers on me. I’ll know,” I said sharply. He grabbed my wrist hard under the table. 

“You don’t know anything about the Force, and you don’t know anything about me,” he growled. 

“I know more than you think.” We stared deep into each others eyes. Any outsider would have thought it a tender moment, not a battle of wills. 

“I can teach you the ways of the Force. You have it, I can tell.”

“We’ll see about that,” I said. There’s no way I had the Force or whatever it’s called. I wasn’t even sure it was real. 

By then, I’d had just about enough of Kylo’s attitude. I would have given my several-thousand credit earrings to stand up, walk out of the hall, and lock myself in my room back home- wait. I wasn’t going home. The thought made me feel sick and dizzy. Any desire to make a snappy comeback at my new husband faded immediately and I sat in silence for a moment. 

“Are you excited, my darling?” Kylo’s low voice rumbled in my ear. 

“Excited for what?” Clearly, I wasn’t in the mood for his banter.

“To leave with me, to go home to our place on the Finalizer.” 

“Why are you doing this?” I demanded. He just kissed the top of my head and draped his arm around me. I was angry and confused, but that didn’t stop me from instinctively burrowing into his side for warmth. Now I was absolutely certain he was manipulating me, I just need some tactics on how to fight back.  
It was like he knew all my buttons to push: how to make me angry, confused, feisty, even blissful. There was more to this than I even dared to imagine. Where would I begin to crack the mystery of what in the seven hells was going on? I retreated into my mind for a while to gather energy for whatever mental warfare would ensue in the next few days. 

After a long night of dancing, drinking, and chattering, the band was winding down and I was tired. Kylo let me lay against him and he rubbed my neck just so. I could have fallen asleep right then if I had the chance. I bid my parents a tearful goodbye; it was the first time I wouldn’t be going back to the family home. In the transport back to the Finalizer, I stared out the window. Kylo tried to get me to talk but I didn’t want to. When the tears started again, I tried my hardest to keep silent. And I did a damn good job of it too: not a shudder, or sniffle, or sob escaped. 

Of course, Kylo noticed. 

He took me by surprise when he tried to pull me into a close embrace. I jerked away from him at once. Crying, especially in front of my scheming new husband, was something to be avoided at all costs. A soft voice brought me out of my intense thinking.

“Hey,” he gently turned me toward him, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” 

“I’m fine.” My voice didn’t waver a bit. 

“If I can do anything to make you more comfortable, tell me. You don’t deserve to be miserable.”

“Thanks,” I said as I felt my expression soften a bit. A charming smile lit up his face and he gave my hand a gentle squeeze.  
I figured he won this round, so I decided to let him have his victory and not fight anymore (for now).

***  
Thoughts of wedding night rituals buzzed about in my head while we walked to his quarters on the Finalizer, but I was so tired (and maybe a little drunk) that I didn’t really feel as hot as I did earlier. But here was this beautiful man, who probably had more than a few expectations of me. What was I going to do?  
He carried me over the threshold to his apartment and laid me on the bed. 

“Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be back.” I heard the flick of a light switch and the sound of a faucet running in the fresher. When Kylo returned, he was wearing only a bathrobe. 

“Need help out of that dress?” he asked. That piqued my interest. 

“Oh _yes,_ ” I said, a little too enthusiastically, even though I was going for sarcasm. Carefully, he untied the silver sash at my waist, removed my bracelets and jewelry, and finally unbuttoned the dress so I could step out of it. I felt exposed in my sheer slip and thigh-high stockings, but if there’s one thing holovision taught me, it was to fake confidence if I didn’t have any. So I narrowed my eyes into a sultry gaze. 

“Mmm, that’s nice. That’s so nice…” Kylo trailed of as he leaned in to kiss me. His hands were all over, playing me like an instrument. Gently, he led me to the fresher, where he’d dimmed the lights and prepared a hot bath. 

“Hmm. Romantic,” I mused, “Where’d you learn that?”

“You tease too much,” he said, pinching my bottom. He slid off his robe without so much as a care. He was like a stone statue: so perfect and formed that he almost didn’t seem real. The thought of being with him was thrilling and terrifying at the same time- I was woefully inexperienced with men for a young lady of 21 standard years. Nerves built up in my chest at the thought of undressing as thoughtlessly as he did, and I didn’t even want to think about what would happen if I got in that bathtub with him. 

“Kylo, I- I-“ 

He frowned at my stuttering. 

“What’s the matter?” 

“I’ve never- well- done anything like this before. I’m not sure if I’m alright with all of this, all at once…” I trailed off. His soft smile was impossible to read as he gently approached me. 

“Sweet wife,” he cooed, taking my hands into his unusally large ones. A chill ran down my spine. “When you’re ready, I want you to come to me.” 

With that, he kissed my cheek, put his robe back on, and left me in the fresher. I called on the familiar presence in an effort to sense any mind games from my new husband. None. Fatigue began to take hold of me, so I took full advantage of the large, warm bath in front of me.  
A good while later, when the water had cooled to the point to discomfort, I dragged myself from the tub. It was only after I’d thoroughly dried off did I realize I had no pajamas. Kriff!

I searched the fresher for some sort of clothing- there was no way I was going back out there in my underthings. My search found another robe like Kylo’s. In fact, it probably was Kylo’s since it was so comically oversized on me. Oh well. I’d take what I could get. 

I crept into the bedroom to see Kylo sitting upright in bed, datapad in hand, just-showered hair still a bit damp and curling in every which way. And, he was very, very shirtless. 

He saw me and gave me a charming smile, making my heart flutter. I suddenly remembered I was wearing a gigantic robe. That wouldn’t do. So, I rifled through my bag and found a suitable shirt and shorts. I didn’t want anything too skimpy or too worn-out, but then again, I didn’t have many choices. Quickly, I snuck into the fresher to change. Now I felt like I could face the prospect of spending the night in bed with a man I barely knew. 

I emerged from the fresher with actual confidence this time. Kylo immediately sat up with a hungry look in his eyes. 

“Would you like to join me, or would you prefer we separate for the evening?” he smirked. I felt a verbal reply was unnecessary: I carefully climbed up in the bed next to him and settled in, leaning on my side to accentuate the curve of my waist. 

“Is this alright?” I sassed back. His brow furrowed into an evil grin. Before I knew it, he scooped me up into his arms and was trying to tickle my ribs. I squalled and shrieked in protest until the onslaught ceased and I found myself firmly nestled against my husband. He placed a tender kiss on my forehead, which contrasted with the iron grip he held me with. I would have been concerned that he was trying to restrain me had it not been for the contented humming noises he was making. It was a strange sight, this colossal, dangerous man whose idea of fun was probably something along the lines of choking people to death, was _snuggling_ with me. He was even running his fingers through my hair and whispering things like “you’re so beautiful,” and “you’re going to be a perfect wife” in my ear. Maybe this was his idea of gaining my trust. Or, comforting me after being so belligerent at the reception. Either way I wasn’t about to complain. I nuzzled into his chest- a solid wall of muscle- and the scent of some kind of masculine, clean soap greeted me. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all. 

He didn’t let his hands wander all over me. He did, however, kiss me until I couldn’t see straight. I laughed after he finally pulled his mouth away from mine. 

“Oh, you’re not so bad, you know?” I blurted. Kriff, did I really just say that? I blamed the alcohol and turned a violent shade of pink. 

“Neither are you,” he replied, ticking my ribs again. I snort-laughed, which was probably one of the most unattractive sounds I could have made. Kylo laughed a deep, full-chested laugh, and rolled us over so he could spoon me. Had I trusted him a little more, I would have almost felt safe in his arms. 

“I’m tired,” I sighed. 

“Well, go to sleep,” he murmured. I giggled, this time without snorting. 

“We have at least standard week to get to know each other,” he said softly, “there will be plenty of time for this-“ he squeezed his arms around me, “and this-“ he lightly bit at me neck, “and this,” he gave me a deep kiss. By then I was seeing stars. 

“If you say so…“ I paused to run a hand through his wavy hair, “goodnight, my sweet husband.” I hoped the sarcasm was evident in my voice.

“Goodnight, lovely wife.” 

Sleep overtook me a little too fast, I wanted to doze in his arms some more, but I was happy to be near him like this. Thoughts swirled around in my head: worry about what would happen after the week was over, the fact that I was in bed with a man I barely knew, and most disturbingly, I found myself becoming more and more attracted to this manipulative husband of mine.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead! Here's a little chapter to prove it.

It wasn’t light outside when I awoke the next morning. Slowly, I became painfully aware of exactly where I was, and more importantly, whom I was with. I’d somehow ended up curled in a ball at the edge of the bed, facing Kylo. He was sprawled on his back like a dead man. He was sleeping like a dead man, too.  
The chronometer read 0647 hours. It made sense I would wake up this early since I usually go for a run before going about my day, but obviously, that wasn’t going to happen this morning. I lay on my side until I was so restless I thought I would burst. So, I carefully rolled out of bed and tiptoed to the ‘fresher. Once the door was securely shut and locked, I glanced at my reflection in the dim, gray light. Not good: I looked positively ill. Dark purple circles had formed under my eyes, my skin had taken on a sallow, almost translucent appearance that made my cheekbones protrude a little too much, and my hair was sticking out in every direction. I sighed. Perhaps I overdid it with the sweet wine at the reception and now I was paying the price. I shrugged on Kylo’s robe I’d left in the ‘fresher last night and went to work trying to look halfway presentable. 

Once my teeth were brushed, hair was combed, and I looked a little less like a ghost, I sat on the edge of the bathtub and took a few deep breaths. I don’t know why I was so worried. Nothing had even happened yet, good or bad. I decided some caf was the best thing for me right now and decided to sneak into the kitchen to make a few cups. Silently, I opened the door to the bedroom.

Kylo was still asleep.

The slight headache beginning to form was all I needed to motivate me to leave him alone and find some caf. I stepped quietly down the hall until I came to a bare-looking kitchenette. I’m not sure what I was thinking; of course Kylo probably wasn’t interested in making his own food. There were little more than water bottles and nutrition bars in the cabinets.  
_What’s yours is mine, Kylo_ , I thought, and I began to search the kitchen top to bottom. _Nothing, nothing, nothing_ \- I perked up when I found a metal container. _Please be caf_ , I silently begged. Hastily, I pried the lid off and was greeted by a handful of stale tealeaves. Anger bubbled up in my chest as I slammed the lid back on the container and shoved it back in the cabinet. In my rage, I let the cabinet door slam shut on my hand. 

“Kriff! Mother-kriffing Sith-hells-“ I swore under my breath as I reeled around to assess the damage. Sure enough, a purple-red bruise was beginning to form on the back of my hand. That was going to hurt for a few days. Gods, I was so angry I could scream: my head was hurting, my hand was really hurting, and there was no Sith-damned caf in this place!

Suddenly there was a chuckle behind me. My stomach sank. Slowly, I looked up from my hunched position, and saw my husband standing in the doorway, arms crossed, shirtless, and lazily smiling at me. I wasn’t sure whether to be embarrassed or angry. 

“What’s the matter?” Kylo mused. He seemed mildly amused at whatever he just saw. 

“I just wanted some caf- and that damned cabinet slammed shut on my hand-“ 

“You like caf?” he asked incredulously. 

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Is that a deal breaker?” I shot back. Kylo rubbed his forehead. 

“I don’t know. Caf is probably the vilest drink in the galaxy-“

“From your point of view,” I interrupted, smiling for the first time that day at my lame attempt at humor. He didn’t look too happy. 

“I don’t drink caf. I don’t keep it in my quarters.” Now he was starting to get angry

“Well, dear husband, I think it’s time we started keeping some in our quarters. You don’t have to drink it just because I do. Kriff…” What a fight over something as harmless as a beverage. I hoped this wasn’t a pattern with him. My hand began to throb intensely, and I realized I had clenched my hands into fists during our conversation. I frowned as I relaxed my fingers and noticed the bruise was getting worse. Kylo gave me a puzzled glance; I just held my hand closer to my chest. 

“Let me see your hand,” he said calmly. 

“It’s fine.”

“Let me see,” he insisted. What could he do? The damage was already done. I stepped close to him and put my hand in his massive, outstretched palm. He ghosted his fingertips over the sensitive bruise and I tried to suppress a wince at the sensation. 

“Um, ow,” I spoke up. 

“Shhh,” he hushed me and gently enveloped my hand with both of his. A look of deep focus came over his face, and I felt an odd sensation where the bruise was: not exactly hot or cold, tingly almost to the point of discomfort. I opened my mouth to ask what was going on. Before I could, Kylo released my hand and I could not believe what I saw- the bruise, the pain, all of it was gone! I gasped. 

“What?! Where did it go- HOW did you do that?” I rattled off. 

“The Force, dear wife,” he said, smirking as he turned on his heel toward the bedroom. I was too stunned to form words. What in the galaxy just happened? That was definitely some kind of magic. Whether it was good or evil magic, that’s what I wanted to find out. I stared down at my hand again and saw no trace of any injury. 

“Come on and get dressed, we’ll go find you some caf,” Kylo called from the bedroom. His voice snapped me out of my daydream. Yet, I wasn’t about to just ignore the fact that my husband used _magic_ to heal me. 

…

“Kylo, they’re staring,” I muttered as we walked through the halls of the Finalizer. Generals, stormtroopers, captains; anyone and everyone in our vicinity was gawking at my husband and me as we made our way to a lounge for some caf. To be perfectly honest, some weren’t actually staring, but I could feel their attention on us. 

“They’re harmless, don’t worry about them,” Kylo muttered. He was wearing his mask, so his voice sounded oddly deep and mechanical. 

“How do you know?” 

“I can hear their thoughts,” he said flatly. I wasn’t sure if he was joking or not.

The caf in the officer’s lounge was decent. Not the best I’ve had but certainly not the worst. Kylo only removed his mask once we were completely alone, and we shared some kind of breakfast cake after I’d had my fill of caf. It wasn’t a standard minute after we’d finished our food that Kylo pulled me onto his lap and began to kiss me. 

“I’m not a fan of caf-“ he paused to bite my lip- “but it’s not so bad on your lips,” he growled. I rolled my eyes. 

“What a line,” I sassed. “You’re going to have to do better than that.”

“Or what?”

“Or I’ll- I’ll sleep on the couch all week.”

“No you won’t.”

“How are you so sure?” Kylo re-adjusted me so I had one leg over each of his, his hands rubbing up and down my back. 

“I can read your thoughts,” he muttered. Still, I wasn’t sure if he was kidding. He could use some kind of magic powers for healing; did the powers work for mind reading as well? 

“Hmm, whatever you say, dear husband,” I sighed. I was expecting a deep kiss or something extremely sexual after all that teasing, but instead, Kylo brought me closer so I was resting against his chest. His heartbeat was oddly soothing and the feeling of his arms wrapped around me was absolutely divine. 

“This is why you won’t sleep on the couch,” he murmured into my hair, “you enjoy this far too much to leave me.” 

Well Kriff. If he wasn’t right again. I refused to admit I was basically touch-starved. My life as a Teirian senator didn’t allow many opportunities for romantic relationships or affection, so Kylo’s touch affected me more than it should. Looking back at how I’d acted the past few days I could see the message I was sending him: affection equals manipulation. There was only one thing I could think of to fix this problem. I had to de-sensitize myself to whatever power physical touch had on me. That might actually work. I could trick him into thinking he had a way to manipulate me, when really, I could manipulate him just as easily. Perfect.  
I refocused my attention on Kylo. My arms were wrapped around his shoulders and I nuzzled into his neck as sweetly as I could. 

“I hate it when you’re right,” I giggled. 

“You’ll get used to it,” he said, his grip loosening. I squeezed him tighter and he tightened his grip in response. 

Too easy.


End file.
